How To Get Excited!

Posted on May 1, 2013 by Jason

I recently saw the trailer for the new Pedro Almodovar film whose English title is ‘I’m So Excited’. Looks like the ever so slightly insane, camp comedy who started doing early in his career. I’m really looking forward to watching it and yes I’m (so) excited about it!

On the way back from a recent holiday, I noticed a girl walking in front of me into the arrivals area being met by her boyfriend with a huge kiss, a hug and tearful smiles of joy. They both looked so happy to see each other! Maybe she had been gone a few months or just a few days. Either way, it reminded me how rarely we see such positive scenes and consequently, how much I love airports especially for this very reason. Yes, there are sad stories but perhaps juxtaposed with the inherently transient nature of airports, there are also so many stories full of hope and excitement that just make you feel happy to be alive.

Have you ever had that feeling when you’re so looking forward to seeing somebody, doing something or going somewhere that you can’t eat, sleep or drink? How can we harness that positive energy to get as excited about other areas in our lives? And perhaps really mean it when we sing along to the Pointer Sisters’ seminal pop chorus line of ‘I’m so excited and I just can’t hide it’ which is where the Almodovar film takes its title.

Gandhi said ‘you may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing, there will be no result.’

So with that in mind, what do you want your result to be? What do you want from your life? And based on that, what actions could you and will you take? Think though, what’s the likelihood of achieving what you want if you are not excited by it? If you can’t feel it, see it, touch it and taste it, how will you make it happen?

I have a friend who has been seriously thinking about moving to Italy for months. Other than work, it’s all she’s been thinking about because she’s been so excited about making it happen. It’s something she’s always wanted to do. She’s excited. And I’m excited for her. It’s infectious! And perhaps inevitably given her positive focus, she is now moving to Rome in November. She made it happen. And she’s happier than she’s ever been. So do it for yourself, for your friends and for your loved ones. Get excited and make it happen – though note that emigration and Pedro Almodovar films are essential!

How To Be Happier

Posted on April 25, 2013 by Jason

Want to be this happy?

Or this happy?

In a coffee shop last week, a friend was chatting to another about her current job – “I’m so fed up where I am. I’ve been there for 5 years, I haven’t been promoted and nothing’s going to change. What can I do?” Her friend duly listened supportively and offered options such as “Why don’t you look for another job?” The unhappy employee then came up with a list of reasons as to why she couldn’t do that. “I can’t find anything that’s right” or “I don’t have the experience.” I wondered how many times they had had this same conversation in the past.

The unhappy employee is stuck in a rut that on the surface she wants to get out of and yet, when it comes down to it, perhaps justifiably, she creates countless reasons why she can’t change the situation. What if she could turn each off those negative expressions into equally positive ones? How much of an impact would that have? How motivated is she really to want to make these changes? Does she really want to do what she says she wants to do? Or does she think she should do what she should do? Is she giving herself permission to do what she wants to do?

Tony Robbins said “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got” and he’s right. The woman in this case refuses to change her approach even though it hasn’t worked for a long time and as a result, nothing has changed. In addition to that, where is the evidence that our unhappy employee doesn’t have the experience? What does the right job for her look like? It’s easy to focus on what she doesn’t want, but has she taken the time and energy to focus on what what she does want?

Where’s the evidence that she doesn’t have the experience? What skills, experience and knowledge does she really have? Sometimes it’s easier to ask other people to tell us as they are usually more objective than we can be with ourselves.

If what you thought and did yesterday made you who you are today, then equally, what you think and do today makes you into the person you will be tomorrow, doesn’t it? So, who do you want to be? And with this in mind, what’s really stopping our unhappy employee from making a change? And more importantly, what is she going to do to change to be where she wants to be, have the job she wants and live the life she wants to live? And if you’re still reading this blog, what are you going to do next?

How To Accentuate The Positive

Posted on April 6, 2013 by Jason

In a bid to escape from the bitterly cold weather of late and for some relaxation, my wife suggested going on a spa break in the countryside.

This was my first experience and once I’d got past the stereotypical notion of being a male fish out of water, it was absolutely wonderful. But why was it so wonderful?

Well, you get pampered with an array of massage, jacuzzi and countless therapies and the only decision you have to make is which one to go to next? But essentially at the heart of all these is that you are surrounded by positive influences, all with the common objective of making you feel better.

A few weeks ago as part of my work, I visited a primary school and while waiting in reception, these were some of the things I heard:

• Hello lovely
• Good morning Jonathan. How are you today?
• Have a good day sweetheart
• Love you

To some, it may seem a bit much, but I found it quite inspiring on a cold and wet Tuesday morning. But can you imagine the impact this can have on the schoolchildren being immersed in such a positive environment every day?

So, with this in mind, what positive influences are you surrounded by? If you feel there aren’t as many as you would like, what could you do to change the situation? I know it’s not always as easy as it seems, so if this is the case, in the first instance, what small step could you take today?

I’m off for a massage…

How To Find Time For You And Not Feel Guilty About It

Posted on March 24, 2013 by Jason

Have you ever felt that sometimes things are getting a bit on top of you? That you maybe have a bit too much going on in your life? At times, it can be really hard to deal with so many commitments – family, work, relationships and if you find the time, social life and hobbies. They’re all things you enjoy (most of the time), so how to manage the situation?

How much time do you think you deserve? A few hours? A few minutes? It isn’t necessary to go on a Buddhist retreat or an expensive holiday. It doesn’t have to cost money. Think for a moment – in the past, when it was just you, what did you really enjoy doing? For some people, just sitting in a nice place with a coffee and looking out of the window watching the world go by can be the most productive and creative thing you can do. Reading a book. Going for a walk. Having a drink with a friend. Or even having a nap. They all give you time & space to think, but more importantly, to simply be.

Some might see the above as doing nothing and being a waste of time – that there are more important things to do. However, I believe if you choose to actively have a coffee with a friend, go for a walk or whatever you choose to do, it can not only be highly productive, but also enjoyable, which is productive in itself. And then of course, why does everything have to be productive? Sometimes you can just enjoy something for what it is. And as a result, you’ll be happier and so will everyone who you deal with as you’ll be coming from a stronger place. So, take some time for you. Everybody will thank you for it…

How To Smile Loudly

Posted on March 11, 2013 by Jason

Another morning stuck on the Tube today. Lots of people staring at the floor desperately avoiding eye contact with each other as you do in London. A few tuts when the driver announced yet another delay due to another reason nobody really cared about. The usual sense of bored resignation in the air. And then the train driver made an announcement.

He started smiling. You couldn’t see him on the tannoy obviously. That would just be silly. But he started welcoming us (his passengers) with a most unexpected “Good morning everybody. Welcome to the this wonderful morning on the Circle Line. I know we’re at a bit of a standstill at the moment but just imagine what beautiful glory awaits you when you arrive at your destination in just a few minutes. I hope it will make you as happy as you can possibly be. Have a fantastic day!”

And then something rather odd happened. I noticed the person next to me smiling. And then I saw another. Amidst the headphones, Ipads, books and newspapers, some people had actually heard the train driver (unusual in itself perhaps) and this group of people, myself included, were all smiling, sharing something together that was so full of positive energy, it had overwhelmed us enough to smile and even laugh.

We all then went on our (now) merry way, looking forward to the day ahead, instilled with a positive energy that had taken us by surprise. Although technically nothing had actually changed. We were all still on our way to work on grey day in London. And the Tube was still delayed. It now somehow felt easier to deal with. Just a happy demeanour from a train driver who chose to be positive that day. It didn’t really take much.

It may not be a perfect world and sometimes (especially in the city), it’s just a bit too easy to be cynical, but there are good things around and many things to be thankful for. We can all smile more loudly than the cynics. It’s there if we look for it. If we’re open to it. We just need to give things and people a chance. It doesn’t take much. Just ask our train driver…

What If Your Job Were Your Partner In A Relationship?

Posted on January 28, 2013 by Jason

How would you answer the following questions if your job were your partner in a relationship?

Do you love your job? Or are you ‘in love with’ your job?
Or have you been together too long and the spark has gone?
What would you need to do to love your job again like you did when you first met?
Or can’t you get enough of each other and the moments whizz by when you’re together?
Do you get butterflies in your stomach knowing you’re going to see your job very soon?

Either way, as with relationships, the choices may not be easy, but sometimes a simple technique such as swapping words eg ‘job’ for ‘relationship’ (or even the reverse) can offer an alternative perspective to help you with how you see your different life situations. Yes, this could lead to a new job or relationship. It could also lead to a new viewpoint of the current job or relationship, but most importantly, it would be real currency to help you live the life you want to live.

Do It And Enjoy It

Posted on November 28, 2012 by Jason

What do you like doing? Really like doing? Reading that book you’ve been wanting to read for months? Skiing? Whitewater rafting? Lying on a beach? Going to the gym? Working? Gardening? Spending time with your family?

Life can be short. So whatever it is, take a moment to make time for it. To make time for you. It may not be for a while, but then, when the moment comes, do it and really enjoy it.

And when you’re done, tell me how it went…

Nothing Compares To Doing What You Are Passionate About

Posted on November 27, 2012 by Jason

When was the last time you did something in which you really believed? When you took a chance and stood out from the crowd and said ‘This is me’? Maybe people were supportive or maybe not, but it didn’t matter as what was most important was for you to do ‘your thing on your terms’.

I recently saw Sinead O’Connor perform on TV and her passion for what she was singing was almost frightening because it was so evident that she so believed in what she was doing. It was impossible to do anything but watch her. Maybe you like her voice and music or maybe not, but her passion was extraordinary and inspiring. Here’s a clip so you can see for yourself.

Watch Sinead O’Connor sing ‘Take Off Your Shoes’

How often do you feel this passionate? And if not recently, when did you last feel this passionate? And what’s stopping you feeling this passionate again?

Can You Say ‘I’m Better Than Yesterday’ Today?

Posted on November 21, 2012 by Jason

I overheard somebody in a cafe ask her friend how she was and her friend replied ‘Better than yesterday’. They both smiled and continued with their coffee and conversation. Nothing unusual perhaps.

Then it struck me that not only was this a lovely thing to be able to say at that time, but wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to respond to that question the same way every day? How much ‘better’ and happier would people and the world be?

So, with this in mind, what could you do today that will enable you to say ‘I’m better than yesterday’ tomorrow?

Drinking In The Moment

Posted on August 27, 2012 by Jason

We are all familiar with the stereotype of eager tourists taking photographs of everything they feel that they ‘should’ see on a visit to London. Buckingham Palace. Tick.! Downing St. Tick! London Eye. Tick! Isn’t a photograph simply a ‘spark’ to reconnect with the original experience and not the experience itself?

I then noticed a Japanese tourist recently who unlike his group wasn’t snapping and then walking away having ‘done’ it. It looked like he was standing contemplating everything in Trafalgar Square. Instead of a quick pic of Nelson’s Column, he was just absorbing the atmosphere, the architecture, almost drinking in the moment. Maybe he’d been drinking a few other things apart from the moment, however either way I loved the idea of this man in calm contemplation in a sea of rushing tourists in a rather crowded city centre, contrary to his stereotypical peers.

Being the music fan that I am, it also reminded me of a recent comment by Ian Brown of the Stone Roses on stage at one of their comeback gigs a few weeks ago. He was getting annoyed about audience members filming the gig with their phone and not actually watching it when it was actually happening and said:

“If you put your cameras down you might be able to live in the moment.
You have a memory there of something you’ve never lived.”

In a society full of constant technology, it is perhaps important to consider that although having ‘sparks’ to help you remember important moments in the past can be a lovely thing, experiencing the moment at the time you have it is surely the most wonderful thing, isn’t it?

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